Managing jealousy in polyamorous relationships

Jealousy in poly is so normal. Even the most experienced poly people experience it. Here's what helps:

1. Name it — "I'm feeling jealous right now" is powerful. Don't hide it.
2. Dig deeper — Jealousy is usually a surface emotion. Underneath is fear (of abandonment, inadequacy, being replaced). Identify the real fear.
3. Communicate with your partner — "I felt jealous when X happened. I think it's because I'm afraid of Y." This opens dialogue.
4. Practice compersion — Finding joy in your partner's happiness. It's a skill that develops over time.
5. Self-soothe — Develop healthy coping: journal, exercise, call a friend. Don't spiral alone.
6. Reassurance is not weakness — Asking your partner for reassurance is healthy. "Can you remind me why you love me?" is a valid request.
7. Therapy — A poly-friendly therapist is invaluable. Psychology Today lets you filter for CNM-affirming therapists.

Jealousy doesn't mean you're failing at poly. It means you're human.