New to ENM — where do I even start?

Welcome! Here's the beginner roadmap that worked for us:

Phase 1: Education (Weeks 1-4)

• Read "The Ethical Slut" and "Opening Up" together
• Listen to the "Multiamory" podcast
• Join r/nonmonogamy and r/polyamory to read others' experiences

Phase 2: Define Your Structure (Weeks 4-8)

• What flavor of ENM interests you? Swinging? Polyamory? Open relationship?
• Set initial boundaries and agreements — write them down
• Discuss deal-breakers and must-haves

Phase 3: Dip Your Toes (Months 2-3)

• Create profiles on Feeld and/or Swingular
• Attend a local ENM meetup or munch (usually listed on FetLife or Meetup)
• Go on low-pressure dates/meetups — coffee, not overnight stays

Phase 4: Iterate (Ongoing)

• Regular check-ins with your partner (weekly minimum)
• Adjust boundaries as needed
• Be kind to yourselves — there will be bumps

The most important thing: go at the speed of the slowest partner.